Posts from the ‘Daily Thoughts’ Category

That Discipline Thing!

Today has brought a turning point in my journey. I’m not sure which “thing” turned, or how it turned; but turned it did! You know how you look at yourself in the mirror but you don’t see the visual you’d expected. You see YOU, the real YOU in all your rawness. Forget the clothes, the make-up (ladies’) and the accessories; what you see is YOU. Untouched, the original, a maturing piece of artwork created by God. But what I do so many times is look at the unfinished product and let myself believe that’s as good as it gets. I stop trying out of frustration and a hopeless feeling that nothing is going to change. I’ve been seeing a PA (physician’s assistant) and a NP (nurse practitioner) for a health overhaul so to speak… I feel like I’m learning as much about my self mentally and spiritually as I am physically. It’s an entire package. Trying to separate them out and only work on one has, well, NOT WORKED!  I am a complete package. It all goes together and I need to treat it as such.  I realize there’s no magic pill, saying or encouragement that is going to change everything in one fell swoop.  I’ve been thinking about this all weekend. I hope I’m not just rambling on and on, but I was encouraged over the past few days from various sources that I want to push forward. I want to keep on keeping on as the old saying goes. I am grateful to each of you blog writers. You inspire me, push me and give me (unknowingly many times) the needed tools to keep it up!!

Thank you! Enjoy your Monday!!



One of My Motivations…

One of My Motivations...

Sorry I’ve been MIA for a few days folks. It’s been a busy week for the family. Dad has had work issues, mom has had mom issues and sweet Noah has had the Special Olympics!! I wanted to take a moment and brag on my son (a mother’s right you know) and it gave me the idea for this blog post. Not only does he bring unimaginable joy into our lives, he is also a big motivator for me to succeed in my weight loss journey. Back to the bragging part: my son, who hates crowds, noise and exercise of any kind actually battled it all and ran the 50 meter dash. AND HE WON IT!  This was such a huge achievement for him; especially considering that last year in the same event he panicked and fell to the ground when the starting gun went off.

So back to my motivation:

I want to be around (and not couch potato around) if you know what I mean! I want to be here for him as he grows into a young man, runs another race and reaches all the potential that God has for him out in the world. I won’t be able to do those things if I can’t even get myself or my body up and moving. Nor will I accomplish anything if the only walk I ever take is to the refrigerator! When thinking today about all my son accomplished, it brought tears to my eyes. It made me realize how much he has to overcome every day just to function in this world that can be largely noisy, inconsiderate and totally overwhelming for him due to his autism. And yet here I sit, complaining that I CAN’T…. I can’t lose weight! I can’t stop eating! I can’t go to the gym enough! I CAN’T! I CAN’T! I CAN’T!  I came to the conclusion that the only person getting in my way is ME! The only nay-sayer is ME! The only obstacle is ME!

So if my sweet 13-year-old son who battles daily just to do the basics can muster up enough guts to run a race in front of a crowd of people on a hot day ; why can’t I get off my duff and get serious?  I CAN. And I have my son to thank for reminding me that I CAN!

On another note, my husband and I have to consider many things regarding the future for our son. One of the biggest motivations I consider with my whole journey in weight loss is being able to care for my son long after his 18th birthday. You see, our son will most likely live with us all his life. Now we have set up a special needs trust for when the time comes that dad and I are no longer here. That being said, we are both very well aware that as we are aging, we need to stay in as tip-top shape as we can to take care of our son. Again, “couch potato not really the best option!”  

I’ve said a lot in this post. Shared a lot of what my family life is like at home. When it comes down to it, I needed a reminder of my motivation for taking this journey. Please don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of personal motivators that I need to be holding onto and bringing to the forefront. But my son, my sweet young man is definitely tops of the list for this mom. I love him dearly and cannot imagine life without him!

Have a great night all!

Oh Boy!! Here we go….

Hello friends and fellow bloggers. It’s been a trying week, but one filled with answers as well. For that fact, I am grateful.  Lots to share and not quite sure where to start. I guess I’ll go with my recent health struggles and the weight gain over the last year.  Sometimes life at home can get a little crazy; that’s code for I’m going to eat wrong and gain a lot of weight. Excuses – no, reasons – yes! When you find yourself in the position to raise a special needs son, life changes for the entire family. That has certainly been the case for our family. I’m not saying there are not good, even wonderful times; because there are. It’s just that in times of crisis and meltdown, you tend to put your own needs aside for the needs of your child. In that respect it isn’t much different from raising a typical child. It’s just that the intensity can be overwhelming when dealing with a child with moderate/severe autism. At times you don’t even see the meltdown coming, you turn your head and it’s upon you!! It’s like taking a peaceful walk through the forest, and then WHAMO, you get hit by a truck!! You’re thinking “what the hel…, where did that just come from….?” Back to the craziness at hand, the part that has grown this woman from 150 to 206 pounds in a little over a year!!

Health issues: Well I finally got the ALL the results back from the nurse practitioner I’ve been seeing; she’s an amazing lady by the way!! It appears that I am extremely gluten intolerant and my thyroid levels extremely low; hence the name hypo-thyroid and I’M GAINING WEIGHT! She also mentioned that my gut health looked terrible and I’ll be starting a prescription strength pro-biotic to help put some healthy bacteria back into my system. I also began taking a bio-identical thyroid medication this morning (for the first time) called Armor Thyroid. It is a natural version of thyroid medication closest to the human bodies. It’s the last part that I’m most worried about, the gluten intolerant part… Why am I worried? It goes back to what I was describing for you in raising a child with special needs. The daunting task of completely changing my diet and reading every label scares me. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s just that I am already overwhelmed with taking care of my son’s needs on a daily basis. O’, and did I mention, he only goes to school about 3 hours a day??? It doesn’t leave me much time to do the basics, let alone adding one more thing to the list.

I’m trying not to be down. I have the answers I need regarding my health. I have options! For that, I am grateful. Wish me luck, it appears my gluten free adventure is starting! For those fellow bloggers who might have this same issue; I would appreciate any/all advise from recipes to lifestyle changes you’ve made….

Many thanks!!


Comfort Food a la ME…

Comfort food

The following is a description of “me!”

Comfort food = may be consumed to positively pique emotions, to relieve negative psychological effects or to increase positive feelings…

It’s crazy how emotions play such an intricate part of our daily issues with food. I don’t know if I can adequately put into words how very true this is for me. Each emotion, good or bad triggers a response from my brain about what to eat. If I’m having a bad day, you can bet that my brain is telling me to grab a cheeseburger or make a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. On the flip side; if things are going well and my emotions are good… staying on the healthy eating track is much, much easier. So why does this even matter? Well it matters because my emotions have been all over the place this past year. I guess I have my age to thank for that… and probably a few other things as well.

I’ve been seeing a NP (nurse practitioner) who specializes in women’s health issues. She works with bio-identicals. What’s this you ask?  I’ll post a link in a seperate post and you can read for yourself. But it’s basically a way to treat some of women’s health issues (as she ages) with hormones that are bio-identical instead of chemical.

Back to emotions. They play such a huge part in my history of bad eating. It just seams that as I am aging and my body along with me, it’s harder to stop the consequences of my poor choices. “We are what we eat,” so the saying goes…. I can no longer indulge only in chocolate & wine while expecting results of like that of one eating fresh healthy ‘carrots.”

So what do I do? That’s for another post!!

Tired of failing…

When you’re desperation is gone; so is your commitment.

I seem to understand desperation a lot these days. Commitment, not so much.

I don’t think I have ever struggled this much in my life. I don’t seem to be able to make one day lately without giving up on myself. I’ve gone from being strong, determined and hopeful; to tired, sad and defeated!

I keep trying, but it lasts only a few days. I just can’t seem to get more than a few steps out of the starting gate. So what’s my problem? If I understand desperation so well, where’s my commitment? Maybe my desperation isn’t so desperate after all.

I’m desperate to lose weight. At least I say I am!

I’m desperate to feel better about myself. But not willing to do what it takes!

But mostly, I’m desperate to continue eating garbage to make myself feel better. Even though I know I am only doing more damage.


I’m commited to pretending to be commited.

I’m commited to eating all the wrong foods. And burying my emotions.

I’m commited to the quick fix, which never really works!

So maybe I’m not so desperate after all, or even commited. I stumble through each day pretending to be working on my weight-loss goals, eating healthier and making the necessary changes for a better me. I’m so tired of trying to continue with what seems to be a losing battle. Frustration is writing this blog tonight. I do realize this, but need to write down my thoughts as part of my journey.




“What makes me cry?” FAT.

“What makes me sweat?” FAT.

“What makes me cry and sweat?” FAT.

When I saw this photo I was so encouraged; and then just moments later I was discouraged. I don’t think I’ve ever faced such a hard battle as my current one to downsize and get healthy.

I loved the illustration. Imagine the FAT on your body being turned to tears of sweat; each drop taking with it a portion of the pounds you’re trying to shed. I want that determination that I see on her face. I want it to last more than 24 hours.



Sweat induced, fat-burning, DETERMINATION!


Hi Everyone!

Just a quick note to let you all know I didn’t disappear for good. I’ve been having a few issues with my mac. I’m back on track now and finishing up my next blog. Hope to have it out tonight. Hope you’re all well. Many thanks to several of my fellow bloggers; your articles have greatly encouraged me lately during a rough patch. Thank you!


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