The Dreaded Sugar Addiction; and my Frustrations!

What can I say? I’m a sugar addict! I’m an addict period. Never in my life have I felt so helpless. I’ve been reading as much as possible about beating addiction. I’ve read all the “points” that are supposed to help; they haven’t!

I keep going back to the statement “you have to want it bad enough.” Really? Is that really all there is too it? Because I feel like a helpless, frustrated failure. I guess I really don’t want it bad enough to stop drowning myself in quick fixes. I know I’m not alone, but I feel alone. I know I’m not the first person to struggle with this, nor will I be the last. So why does it have to be so damn hard?

My best friend and I have been talking about the reasons why I might be struggling so much at this given moment. Yes I have a lot on my plate, but so do many others. Why now? Why these particular issues at this particular time? I’ve think, thank and thunk them ad nosium…

What connection is there to craving sugar loaded crap versus emotions? I’m not hungry, but I keep going to the refrigerator and the pantry to look AGAIN for something to eat. The high passes and I once again wonder aimlessly through my own kitchen looking for grub!! Am I soothing the soul with sugar? Am I getting my ‘fix’ as a drug addict gets his/hers? I have no answers. I don’t even know if I’m asking the right questions.

What does “lifestyle change” mean? I don’t know if I know how to live a life of “healthy eating.” Better yet, I don’t know if I even want to… How sad is that statement? I don’t even know if eating for health versus eating to glutony means much to me anymore. I. JUST. WANT. TO. EAT. Sadly, I don’t think it has anything to due with hunger.

Signed,
Fat