Neglected…

My poor blog has been neglected… I think I shall do something about that problem… Now to find the time for my creativity!!

Good Workout!

Any workout that actually happens is a GOOD WORKOUT! I’ve had 4 out of 5 days this past week and I’m feeling encouraged to keep going. Having a good attitude helps… having a bad one just deflates my spirit and only furthers a downward spiral. Encouragement comes from a miriad of places and I am grateful to all who have been that for me. Your listening, your words of support and encourement mean a great deal to me. Thank you!!

The Dreaded Sugar Addiction; and my Frustrations!

What can I say? I’m a sugar addict! I’m an addict period. Never in my life have I felt so helpless. I’ve been reading as much as possible about beating addiction. I’ve read all the “points” that are supposed to help; they haven’t!

I keep going back to the statement “you have to want it bad enough.” Really? Is that really all there is too it? Because I feel like a helpless, frustrated failure. I guess I really don’t want it bad enough to stop drowning myself in quick fixes. I know I’m not alone, but I feel alone. I know I’m not the first person to struggle with this, nor will I be the last. So why does it have to be so damn hard?

My best friend and I have been talking about the reasons why I might be struggling so much at this given moment. Yes I have a lot on my plate, but so do many others. Why now? Why these particular issues at this particular time? I’ve think, thank and thunk them ad nosium…

What connection is there to craving sugar loaded crap versus emotions? I’m not hungry, but I keep going to the refrigerator and the pantry to look AGAIN for something to eat. The high passes and I once again wonder aimlessly through my own kitchen looking for grub!! Am I soothing the soul with sugar? Am I getting my ‘fix’ as a drug addict gets his/hers? I have no answers. I don’t even know if I’m asking the right questions.

What does “lifestyle change” mean? I don’t know if I know how to live a life of “healthy eating.” Better yet, I don’t know if I even want to… How sad is that statement? I don’t even know if eating for health versus eating to glutony means much to me anymore. I. JUST. WANT. TO. EAT. Sadly, I don’t think it has anything to due with hunger.

Signed,
Fat

Starting Over…

Thanks to so many for your encouragment, love and support during these past few months. To say that they have been challenging would be an understatement… but that’s a LONG STORY for another time. Suffice it to say for now, the tendon tear ended up being a broken bone in the top of my foot. Thus floating around on its own course and pressing on a nerve which made it appear to be plantar fasciaitis. Oh well, who knew?!? 

Anyway, they say the new year brings new things… I’ve had enough of the trials and am looking forward to the upside of 2014! I’ve started a new way of eating. I’ve made some commitments (mostly to myself) and I am looking forward to my family moving ahead and making good strides towards our goals both individually and as a whole…

Wishing you all well in this new year! Look forward to being back soon with some important stuff to say!! ***Maybe… 

“I feel like giving up!”

Torn tendon in foot, near pnuemonia…. “What’s next? So tired!”

Fragments of thoughts…

Why is it that when I do actually have a few moments to write, that the words won’t come out? All these fragments of thoughts roaming around my head and I’m unable to put them into a coherent sentence. It kinda feels like that in my weight-loss journey; or lack thereof.

I have moments of strength and many more moments of weakness. I haven’t been able to find that place, that encouragement, that determination that I had way back when… I’m afraid I’ve hit that point of no return and I’m scared! Funny thing? I don’t really think it’s about the weight. I think the weight gain is merely an outward sign of what’s going on inside my head. Too bad there isn’t a diet that can fix head problems!! If someone ever does invent it; they’ll be rich!! Maybe I should work on it?!?

It’s funny, sitting here typing and my mind wandered to all that I have to be thankful for in both my life as a whole and my journey to being a healthier me. I have good marriage with a supportive husband. I have a step-son and grandchildren who make me grateful to be “family,” and last but not least a wonderful son, who despite his autism makes my life a joy! It’s hard though, many times the things/people in our lives that bring us the most joy also bring us the hardest challenges. Knowing and finding that fine line of ‘holding it together’ and pushing/praying through the hard times is that place that many times I lose site of…

To be continued…

Hoping Makes Nothing Happen; Action Does!!

How funny that it takes so many tries to get something right and have it actually mean something… For me this is SO TRUE! What I gain easily (not weight as I do gain ThAT easily), I rarely value. What is easy for me to achieve, usually means nothing because I haven’t truly worked hard for it. I know my words are not 100% for everyone, but for me… they ring true most of the time.

What comes quickly and easily, I don’t tend to value its worth. Yet that which takes time, trials and sweat; these, I remember!!

So what’s my point? I’m not sure. I’ve been struggling for quite some time. You that read and / or follow my blog will see as my posts have all but stopped for the past few months. This is part of my ‘not so great‘ qualities. I give up when it gets hard. I bury myself in the memories of what was, instead of focusing on what is and what can be.

I’m typing out the ramblings going through my mind this morning. I usually don’t have that luxury as my handicapped son is with me virtually 24 hours a day. This is certainly not his fault, but it does lend itself to my limited amount of time for me stuff.

I’d appreciate your thoughts, prayers, encouragements and practical advice from those who struggle with letting life overwhelm you. I realize we all have different issues to deal with and there’s not a ‘cure all’ piece of advice for everything. I would just like to hear from you and words from your own experiences.

Thanks in advance,

“Jewels”

Skinny COW?

I get the point of the brand name Skinny Cow, but seriously folks? This is NOT helping folks like me to get skinny. Yes their less calories, maybe even a few less grams of fat; but over all their still a diet killer… still hate saying “diet,” but couldn’t think of another good word to use in it’s place. I’m trying to live a healthy and cleaner (food speaking) life while enjoying the freshness of the food grown by hand and made without preservatives. I’m not successful 100% of the time. I struggle with keeping my eating priorities where they should be… I could list a million + reasons/excuses why, but it wouldn’t change anything. Until my desire to live a healthier life is stronger than my desire for my immediate need to be met, success and clean living won’t be mine. It’s a choice. It’s my choice. No one out there can make it for me. It’s mine alone to choose. I’ve been given some great encouragement lately and thought I’d end this post with a quote by Oscar Wilde.

“What often seem like bitter trials, are often blessings in disguise!”

Well…

I sooooo need the ingrediants that are in this avocado! It’s looks delish!!!

Truth Is Green

Need I say more?

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ME! I Will Beat Her!!

Hi Everyone!

Well it’s been a couple of crazy weeks, and it won’t slow down a bit for another several weeks. I can’t complain as it’s been mostly good; but it has definitely had me on my toes!!

Jack and I were able to get away for a week together while my mum stayed with Noah here at home. What a blessing! Sweet relaxation and even faithful gym time. I only missed one day and that was our day of rest while we enjoyed a church service on the beach!! Amazing!!

I did what most of us do on vacation, I ate some things I shouldn’t have… I will say I am still down 13 pounds from my starting. Gym time alone and with trainer has been profitable. The cardio is helping me trim down while my trainer keeps those muscles in line as I build and work on my definition. I am a lucky girl to have such great support at home and the gym.

I wanted to share with you the pic I added to this post. My dear friend Janet sent this to me and I found it incredibly encouraging as it reminded me once again that the issues I face (for the most part) are not those given to me by others, but by my own choice at times to DO NOTHING!

I have my goals. I have my menus. I have my strength. Getting my head in the game and keeping it there is that constant internal struggle with which I deal each and every day. So here’s to US, here’s to waking each morning with a renewed sense of taking care of ourselves inside & out!!

Hugs,
F2F2F